FIFTH INSTALLMENT

FLAT PACK HEAVEN …… 

Needless to say we were keen for the next four weeks to pass quickly. 

We were due to return to Saint Malo for a 5 night stay just prior to Christmas taking the last ferry back to the UK returning on the morning of Christmas Eve.  We had a lot planned for those five days as this was going to be the big ‘move in’,  although the question of how we were actually going to get there, particularly with the ever growing pile of flat packs (and a fridge) from Ikea and Argos dominating our dining room, had not really being discussed.

Fortunately on hearing our dilemma a very kind work colleague offered to loan us her large Toyota people carrier.  With the seats taken out, as they had often done themselves, the vehicle was positively van like in size so our problem was solved –better still, on the ferry the vehicle was still classed as a car so we did not have to worry about the crossing costing any more than usual.  We were all set.

We exchanged cars in the office car park and then went home to load up!  We had arranged to leave Alfie (our Springer spaniel) with Darren’s Mum for the trip – he still hadn’t qualified for his passport yet so we set off for Poole the following morning to drop him off.  All went well until we reached the edge of the New Forest.  I hadn’t really been overly concerned about the slight burning smell that I had first noticed around Winchester – different car, different smells I thought.  But when the temperature gauge went off the scale and flames coming out of the exhaust pipe were seen in the rear view mirror it was clear that there was a problem.

We stopped long enough for everything to cool down – we are no car experts so we weren’t really sure how long that should be and then limped the mile and a half needed to get to a service station that we knew was close.  Stress wasn’t the word – with Alfie panicking in the car and the very real prospect of having to postpone our crossing the air turned a distinct shade of blue!

I dug out an old AA membership card that was tucked away in the back of my wallet not knowing if it was still valid or not.  After several minutes of trying to remember every postcode we had lived at in the last 7 years (and it was a few) we were told that we were still covered – I had never cancelled my annual direct debit – praise the lord – and we could expect a mechanic out in the next two hours.

Eventually the little yellow van arrived.  Sadly the mechanic was not able to assist, muttering ‘your big ends gone’ amidst much sharp in-taking of breath.  It seemed we could not be sent on our way and we would have to wait for a tow truck to get us to Poole.  Another two hours later and our rescuer arrived.  It wasn’t long before the patient was loaded and we headed for our destination.

We hadn’t given up hope on making our ferry that evening and after several calls to various van hire companies and checking that I had the appropriate documentation, we secured a vehicle for the crossing.  Of course this meant that we couldn’t avoid a higher fare on the ferry but we would still be able to get to Saint Malo.

Short on time we collected the van, transferred the flat pack cargo from the now dead people carrier, said a swift farewell to Alfie and headed for the ferry.  We did eventually relax but it took several glasses of cider.

In our cabin we slept well …..

Of course the next day brought its own challenges – 22 flat packs to be carried up the four flights of stairs to the apartment not being the least, but with brave hearts and stout legs we finished the job in less than an hour!  Although the place looked more like a warehouse than a home we set too sorting the boxes into various rooms and planning our attack. 

We had agreed that we would paint the kitchen together first,  to allow Darren to begin going wild with the screwdriver and alum key set - I would then paint the bedroom – all in the usual white of course.  We made swift work of the kitchen and by late afternoon the boxes began to be opened. 

Ikea had proved very effective and with several pieces of free standing solid pine kitchen furniture purchased we should soon have a workable kitchen.  Darren began.  Now I must say at this point that I have learnt to leave well alone when Darren is putting together furniture – it’s never easy for anyone but I have come to dread what I call the ‘OH’ moment.  Things rapidly take shape and then at a critical moment it is discovered that a piece has been put in the wrong way round or a vital component has been used for the wrong purpose ‘OH …….’ – I shall leave it to your imagination as to what happens next!

But with all that said by late evening we had all cabinets constructed and in position – well at least their first position, we moved them round several times before we were happy with the final result.  With that achievement under his belt Darren called a halt to the day’s proceedings and requested a visit to L’equinoxial and a bite to eat.  I didn’t argue.

After an unusually early start, the next day proved very productive and by the evening the bedroom had been painted (white) and all but two flat packs had been constructed – everything was starting to take shape. 

Bedroom

We spent the next couple of days continuing the equipping of the apartment. We bought a table top baby Belling type cooker to replace the death trap, and then another identical one swiftly afterwards when we realised that expecting the oven and the two electric rings to work at the same time was in fact expecting just too much and various pots, pans and kitchen necessities.  Curtains went up and pictures were hung to complete the job.

Dining Room

Lounge

Hall

Shower Room

Darren's "Tintin" Toilet 

We allowed ourselves the final day to relax and enjoy what we had achieved in what was a relatively short space of time and then locked up again and headed back to the UK for a restful Christmas.

What had I bought Darren for Christmas but forgotten to take to France ………… an electric screwdriver set – he wasn’t amused!

At a Party over Christmas in the UK my cousin an interior designer said to Darren "you really need a few pieces distressed rustic French furniture to complete the look" to which Darren replied "believe me we have plenty of very distressed Swedish furniture.....!"

TO BE CONTINUED …..